I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
