I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
