everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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