JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
