So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
