are you still at the devil's house?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Damn victory sex feels great
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
