piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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