I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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