I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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