I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
