I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
being pregnant is like rehab
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
