Christians are straight up FREAKS
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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