shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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