I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize