I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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