My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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