So drunk its hurt
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Are my feet made of real feet?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I would ride that face into the sunset
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
