Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
