Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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