Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
