omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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