Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
