id be glad to
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
