Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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