i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
