Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
