did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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