White coat. Heels.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
