are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
