I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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