he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize