At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
