you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
