so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need a beard to bite.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
