someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
