So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
