It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
