So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
