mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
