Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't think brook has ever known best
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
