Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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