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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dont have a dog?

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  WTF

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better

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• (310): View more from California

  Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb

  (209): View more from California

  it's ELEVEN

  (310): View more from California

  thirty

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• (516): View more from New York

  sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Classy

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