dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
