So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
