Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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