how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
