it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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