I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
