she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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