he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
