hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
