i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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