it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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