If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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