Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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