Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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