we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
