i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
3 2 1 whiskey
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
