You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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