I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
